Instant Gratification, Productive Orange Football Consumer, POF

Mega Millions $540 Million

I want to win this thing. I really want to fucking win this thing -- I really do.

This is the largest lottery jackpot that has ever happened. The largest in world history! Not only would you win the god-damn
Mega Millions Lottery, you will be winning the largest jackpot in world history!!


Holy Shit...I get a little nauseous thinking about winning.

Everyone and the grandmother are buying tickets for this. It has been reported that some liquor stores have been selling more than $1,000 worth of tickets within only 5 hours.

The cash option is $389 million.

If you don’t know how to play
Mega Millions, you’re probably under 18 years old or partially handicap but here’s the deal:

Each ticket for Mega Millions costs $1. The player selects five out of 56 numbers, then selects on out of 46 number for the Mega Ball number. If you feel like being more risky you can pay an extra $1 for a Megaplier which multiplies your winnings, excluding the jackpot, up to four times the original amount. Results for each Mega Millions are held on Tuesdays and Fridays.

I’m going to win this thing and go on a 2 week black out fest waking up some place amazing like on the shore of Costa Rica.

No one would hear from me -- I’d just scream in excitement, probably pee myself, and get on a flight to Las Vegas drinking Tequila, Energy Drinks, popping pills, grabbing as much ass as I could and make as many bad decisions as I possibly could as well.

I’d max-out my credit cards and once they were done I’d discreetly claim my winning ticket and live out my life of luxury and bliss some place where beautiful women serve me drinks, rub me and feed me grapes and adderall. Now, that’s living!

If I don’t win I hope someone other than a middle American 70+ year old wins this thing. It’s always some old ass who wins isn’t it?

I want a Lotto Horror Story resulting from this. If you’re going down in history for winning the worlds largest Mega Millions lottery ever, than I want a historic tale of ups-and-downs to be told on 60 Minutes in the future as well. Make me smile.


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