Instant Gratification, Productive Orange Football Consumer, POF

Automatic Hand Dryer Hater

I fucking hate automatic paper towel dispensers. In fact, I hate all automatic dispenser’s of any kind that are in a public restroom. I understand the fact that it’s there to “help eliminate waste” “keep our bathrooms clean” “you’re saving trees” but fuck what you’re really doing is, giving me tiny shitty pieces of paper that are not big enough to wipe my dick after a piss.


If you are going to make the general public suffer with these automated paper towel dispensers or blowers, there should be automated shoe cleaners, asshole water cleansers, and mints in all public bathrooms providing these frustrating machines.

  • Paper is not big enough to blow my nose in.
  • Produce one full length of paper that should be large enough to wipe down an entire bathroom counter.
  • If the automatic sensor does not work, they should become manually operated.
  • Increase dispenser speed.
  • How about automated paper towel refills??

  • I’d like to find the market group that was the initial group that gave these companies the, “Yeah, we love this idea!” go ahead and punch all those
  • tiny hand people right in the sternum and say thank you for fucking me, and contributing to the hopeless pursuit of people washing their hands after
  • using a public restroom.

  • Because when I see those automatic dryers and paper towel dispensers and my only options for drying my hands, and I don’t have pants on -- I’ll just
  • say fuck it.

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